It’s been a day so far. Some quarrelling with my friend. Or better … What was the argument about?
Basically it was about being authentic, being honest with one self. Being called a liar and a feeling of rejection.
We spent the day on our own to get back down to earth. I really don’t know what will come but as I sat here on this Thai Island, drinking Italian coffee, eating Italian pizza, drinking French wine (and waiting for the thunderbolt to pass by) I got a newsletter from TDL (Today’s Daily Love) with words which I needed the most this very moment.
How strange that help is coming so completely unexpected (and I didn’t mistype ‘protection’) 😉
Here is the article by Mastin:
Yeah, yeah, yeah… it’s been said a bazillion times – ‘rejection is projection’. I used to HATE hearing that from my friends when yet ANOTHER girl would reject me, or that darn job didn’t turn out, or I didn’t get the apartment I wanted or a business partner left.
“It’s so stupid,” I used to think. ‘Rejection is projection’ – that is the DUMBEST thing I have ever heard. Some crazy person who is just justifying why life isn’t working out for them must have come up with that stupid phrase. Pssss – ‘rejection is projection’ – WHATEVER – how about life sucks! I want to be happy and it’s just NOT WORKING OUT! Ahhhhh!
That’s what my mind used to tell me all the time when things didn’t work out.
I literally would think that some crazy person in denial about how life is would make up these silly phrases to justify being let down.
Oh, what a young and silly person I was/am.
You know, one thing I’ve come to see about most clichés in the personal growth world is that they are true. Most of them are phrases or insights that someone got along their journey and they expressed them. And they were so darn true.
The thing is – NO ONE wants to hear a cliché when they are in the middle of a lousy situation. When you are sad that you got rejected, you don’t want to hear “there are plenty of fish in the sea” or “rejection is protection” or “rejection is redirection” or “it’s always darkest before the dawn,” etc, etc, etc.
And rightfully so. But here’s the thing. And I’ve REALLY come to believe this…
There is no such thing as rejection.
Wait – I said it. I’ll say it again: there is NO SUCH THING as rejection.
Merriam Webster’s says that rejection is “the state of being rejected”.
That’s interesting because – who puts you in that state? Other people? On the surface, yes. But as we dig deeper, we will find that’s not true.
You can only be rejected if you OWN the rejection – if you take it personally. If you don’t take the rejection personally, you don’t OWN it and if you don’t OWN it, it doesn’t exist.
Being in a state of rejection is proof that we have outsourced our power to another. We have allowed what someone else thinks or feels about us to define us and, in extreme cases, BECOME our identity.
This is not living a Self-Approved life. SURE – it HURTS when someone doesn’t want to be with us, but we do not need to take it on as who we are, or what we are capable of.
Other people’s opinions CANNOT define us, unless we ALLOW them to.
What I’ve come to see and believe is that The Uni-verse has the most amazing stuff in store for us and when “rejection” happens, it’s just The Uni-verse’s way of saying, “Kid, you were selling yourself short on that one… let go and let Me show you what your Heart REALLY wants!”
At first I thought that was total b/s… But now that Jenna is my girl, it makes TOTAL sense why it didn’t work out with any other girl. Now that TDL is what it is, it makes TOTAL sense why my life in the music business and apparel business didn’t work out.
The goal is to keep the faith when you are in the darkness of feeling rejected and hold the belief that this is The Uni-verse’s way of bringing you to something even better. I know it sucks in the moment, but can you have the strength to feel your feelings and choose to see life from the perspective of FAITH and Self-Approval?
It takes courage and tenacity and big FAITH to do this, but if you act from this place… miracles are on their way.
LAUGH in the face of rejection.
What other people think of me is none of my business.
I know that something EVEN better is on the way! Bring it on Uni-verse!