Once again everything happens at once. Although I am asking myself, what is ‘everything’. In the end (and when I am honest with myself) it is the same all over again. It’s always the same thing that catapults me to my emotional limits … esteem and respect (or the lack of) in all day situations.

You are a team member responsible for the combined website, your collegues told you to wait until they know what they want and after four weeks *woosh* they have launched their own sub site ‘forgetting to tell’ you.

A written mail with an important question to a person which prefers to put the head in the sand due to his or her ego or false pride.

Your boss assigning tasks with short-term deadlines on short notice without clearing it with you.

Your friends assume without hesitation that you will understand why they do not respond to your tries to get them for a talk.

I could continue this list. But it’s of no good. I just get all worked up about it and I am getting really sad. Sad because I am forced to take actions which would be not necessary if everybody lived a culture based on to mutual esteem and respect.

Straight and intense talking with your colleagues and your boss; in some cases calling an attorney. It’s all so time-consuming and energy-intensive. I need my energy for way more important things. Who don’t, ey?

I admit I fret and fume. I am just a human being and therefore not always “nice and likeable”. Sometimes I am just a bitch!

Most of all I feel annoyed by those persons who take advantage of my esteem for others to push their own ego. The same people with biiig question marks on their face and a big, big “but” when I draw a line.

I give a damn about it! They don’t even show some respect for my own opinion not to say to accept and considering it. Noooo, they want to proselytize and convince me that I feel wrong! Folks, I am not crackbrained! You see your influence over me dwindling and disappearing. And now you are trying to avoid that!

But, did you know? That is exactly that situation which brings me to the heights of my creativity. It is like a burst of a dam and all the possibilities of the world are pouring into my heart, my brain, my soul. I weight, I clear out, I categorize, I prioritize and I know for sure something wonderful is about to happen and even something better will come my way!

I so look forward to it and I am very curious what it will be … in the end! 😀